❖ Blog post by lwflouisa
When Anna-Marie was sentenced to death, everybody seemed sorry. The judge had a particular disdain for rape victims, or so she told me. She poisoned someone else. An estranged family member that came to visit. But this isn't a Thomas Hardy tale. Instead it is a tale of a French girl who only trusted me little, yet enough to give me a chance. So it wasn't a surprise she left me so as not to hurt me. She didn't want to see me cry.
But that's how it was there, and even here for those so young to die. She was spared once, but guillotine gunned the second time. I remember the feeling of regret when saw my reaction as the blade fell through her neck, as her head tumbled away. And I am left with only the remnants of a love that could never be. We all become as obscure as Jude. A new tale of cyber sexuality unfolds.
Life restarts all o'er again as I carry a lonely umbrella in the rain. The French were as ubiquitous as ants, like boogiemen. There was a young girl in tap shoes, possibly of English/French descent. Her schoolgirl outfit reminded me of penguins. Her cane matching her Steampunk goggles in black. Her taps covered in mud.
You can't just leave someone cold in the rain, it's not human. I checked inside after asking where her mother is, but she was nowhere to be found. "Haha, got you. I come to save the adults." She got me there, I slapped my knee. Kids these days. I fist bumped her and went on my merry way.
It wasn't like I didn't think I needed saving, I just didn't trust a kid to do it. Everything melts away in the rain.
I needed hope.
I needed death.
I also needed to be by someone's side, I just didn't realize this at the time. My life like shattered plexi-glass into bleeding shards.
I grabbed her hand and shouted to the sky, "Does anyone know where this girl's mother is?"
I tried going elsewhere away from her, but there was not escape from her net gun. She tossed me into the sky like a rodeo rope.
"You're not going anywhere, mommy dere." she said, doing a little tap dance. "You will not have your dance with death, I am her daughter. And I only love."
She was older than she looked, with her being seventeen. With Steampunk having become something of a local fashion, Lisa-Marie had a thing for trans girls thinking of her as thirteen. Yet there was something in those eyes that drew her to me. It made me shudder and cry.
It revealed all her lies. Her mother used to shame her for wanting to be a little princess. She never had many playmates, and she was always left alone. "But I want a princess dress." she said to her mom. "I want to be the beauty for my beastly girl."
Her mother would tear off her dress, making her confess to stealing it even though she payed for it with her allowance. Made her wear rags and stockings and wooden sabots. She got her taps after mom died.
"You will be your brothers Cinderella." her mother said.
So the little Cinderella girl that wanted youth and to play was jerked by her wrist to hard that she wept raining tears.
She wanted to strangle mom with her rags.
Instead her mom was guillotined after robbing a bank.
So I gave her the country song, and said "Why would someone tear off your dress?" It was the same shit Anna-Marie went through, why was the world so horrible?
She held me tight, and we said goodnight.
She wiped away my tears. "But you are mommy now. I want a hamburger."
I laughed while crying.
I had looked at the human race as unredeemable. Most of all I hated women. I didn't want their genocide. I wanted them to be locked in immortal constant abyss. I hated how pretty all the girls were compared to me, and how their souls were lost in a tireless immoral void. I wanted everything in my life to end. Then for once everything can begin all o'er again. Even the total scum of the Earth is so much prettier than the world. I could be Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, and Vicci. Yet none of their disdain for their chosen race compared to the hate I had for Lisa-Marie's mother.
I could have been a necrophiliac headsman.
At least my mother made me think so. It was all a deranged game.
And yet I loved this girl and Anna-Marie. Because my love for them was deeper than all my hate.
They of humanity that warmed my heart.
And yet Anna-Marie is gone.
"You talk in your sleep Hemato, are you OK. Something must be bothering you." Lisa-Marie said.
"Nothing that you didn't melt away."
"Then lets make a new world together."